From what happened in the past few things, I think I have a few lessons to learn:
過了幾天「瘋狂」的日子之後，我覺得有以下教訓必須吸取。寫出來，也是讓自己長記性。萬一哪天忘了，再回來看看。
-
Never bend to outside pressure, including pressure from your supervisor, when you know what they ask you to do is not quite right, or when you feel uncomfortable with doing that way. To be cooperative is different from bending to pressure against your own will. You cooperate when you feel it is right, or it is the right way to do it. Otherwise, you should not do it against your will or judgement. It is your life, and your time. And you have to live it yourself, not for others. Otherwise, it is irresponsible to both you and the other person.
-
當你覺得一件事，或一件事的做法不太對時，永遠不要屈從於外部壓力而去做這個事，哪怕這壓力來自於你的頂頭上司。這與配合與協調是兩回事。配合與協調也必須在你覺得這樣配合是正確的情況下，才能去做。否則，違反自己意願或心願做出來的事情，結果一定不好。說到底，這是你的時間，你的生命，你自己必須決定你要怎樣做，怎樣走。讓別人支配了你，不僅對自己不負責，其實也是對別人的不負責。
-
-
How to handle pressure? 怎樣應對壓力？
Why was it hard for me to handle pressure? Because I responded by trying to endure and withstand it, or to “bounce back” and give back equal amount of pressure to the other party, often with a negative mentality, or even resentment in my heart. When I couldn’t “digest” the pressure, I bent; and did things in wrong ways.
爲何我會屈從於壓力呢？就是壓力來時，我要麼試圖「頂著」，要麼以同樣的力度反彈回去，把壓力傳給施壓者，或者其他人。這時，心中涌起的，時常是負面情緒，如對施壓者的不滿，甚至怨恨。當我頂不住時，就只能試圖自己去「消化」；「消化」不了時，就做了違心的事情。
So, to be “strong” or “tough” is actually the wrong way to handle pressure. Rather, I should become “empty”, and softer. Who can give pressure to air or water? Nobody can. If I am as “unresponsive” as air or as water, nobody can really pressure me into doing anything. If I empty myself, become as “hollow” as air, or as soft as water, the “pressure” can do nothing to me. It will feel like nothing has happened, and I can keep on doing things in a way that I believe is best, and at a pace that I can handle.
其實呢，仔細想想，以「頂住」壓力的心態去壓對壓力，其實是很難「頂住」的。正確的做法，應該是將自己放空、變軟。誰能給空氣或流水製造壓力呢？如果我像空氣或水一樣對壓力「無知無感無識」，那誰還能逼迫我做任何事呢？我會覺得任何事都像輕風拂面一樣輕鬆愉快，而我照樣按自己的方式和步調做著自己該做的事。與此同時，心中也不會有任何負面的東西產生，也不會把這壞東西傳回或傳遞給別人。
-
Never expect others to understand, take care of, or love you. You have to do all these to yourself and by yourself. Perhaps sometimes you can try to communicate with others so that they can understand. But at the end of the day, again, it is your life, and you have to live it in your way.
3. 任何時候，都不要期待別人會來理解、愛護，或照顧你。你要好好愛護和照顧你自己，這樣才能長久有效地「運作」下去。也許適當時候可以去與別人溝通，爭取理解。但永遠不要對此抱有什麼期望。說到底，還是上面那句話，這是你的生命，你的時間，你要自己對你自己負責。
Okey, that’s all for now. Let me remember these.
目前就想到這些吧。一定要記住並執行啊。